Assembly Now
09 July 2007
Southampton Joiners
Our tour van doesn't have a radio because it got nicked by some lightfingered scally, so on the way to Southampton we listened to the Wimbledon tennis final on Gavin's portable radio that he keeps in his shower. Why it's in the shower, we can only speculate; perhaps he likes to sing along to Cyndi Lauper whilst washing his rippling six-pack. This hideous little radio is covered in limescale and mould, and drips water everywhere so we had to carefully wrap it in newspaper whilst straining to listen to Rafael Nadal getting his arse handed to him by Roger Federer.

The Runners played a blinding set and managed to smash some photographer's camera at the same time. If that's not rock 'n' roll, I don't know what is. During our own set, Howard's bass blew up during the first song and he had to scramble to fix it before anyone noticed we were playing without a bass guitar. Perhaps the audience thought we were The White Stripes for a moment, albeit with a slightly more butch drummer.

As we left Southampton, we challenged the Runners boys to a race at a red light. As the light turned green, our crappy tour van span its wheels and got ahead by a car length... but then disaster. The Runners sneakily cheated by throwing grapes as us through the window, thus disturbing the air-convection outflow of the catalytic vortex-enhancer and their gay little hatchback zoomed ahead of us into the night.

Tomorrow things will be different. We'll be bringing grapefruit.
Written at 12:50 by Assembly Now.